Oh, fuck.

So I have been putting of writing this post for so long, mainly because I do not want to revisit the dreaded weekend, and how disappointed I am with myself with how it all went down. Emma = 0, Karma =1. So as mentioned in my previous post I had amazingly optimistic and idyllic plans…

Looking Forward.

So I have finally devised a sensible plan for my future that has proper taken the stress of me, and made me realise there is no point in rushing things. The final year of university has been hell, putting me through so much stress for various reasons and triggered a mental breakdown and my depression…

Optimism.

So yesterday while enjoying a long car journey in the countryside, anyone else love the journey to somewhere more than getting to the destination? Being able to look out into the world with no cares or worries, imaging all types of fantasies that you never want to end? Anyway,  I had my music on, and…

Family Time.

My, oh my family is such a powerful thing, when it’s good it’s amazing. When it’s bad, may god be with you, because that shit is awkward as hell believe me, I know. I have a very lovely family, I’m not close with my more distant relatives, but my brother and sister, parents, and neice’s…

Mindsets.

Something that I have been telling myself for a good few months now is that once I have handed in all my Uni work, and I am no longer a student I can sort myself out. Isn’t t it strange how much powerful your mindset is on how you treat yourself as a person? Like,…

Vulnerability.

My god I swear my personality is basically a sponge, I soak up everyone’s emotions, feelings, and opinions as if they are my own. I have no freaking clue why I am like this, but it honestly does my head in, and I don’t know how to control it. It’s probably partly to do with the…

Resisting Temptation.

So today, on a Monday of all days, my strength was tested. It was my first time back to the City since my breakdown not that long ago and resisting the temptation to stay was overwhelmingly difficult. It is so weird how a place and environment can have such a massive impact on your behavior…

Keeping Busy.

One of the most common things that I tend to suffer with is negative thoughts, that manifest themselves into fits of frustration, rage and pain. Now obviously the best way to stay clear of those thoughts, is too keep yourself busy enough so that you don’t have time to get lost in your head. Having…

Having Strength.

So today is the beloved St Patrick’s Day, which for some reason (alcohol driven reason) the British love to celebrate more than St Georges Day. Everyone has a jolly old time, drinks too much Guinness and gets absolutely smashed. So today, a couple of my best friends asked me if I wanted to go to…

Thinking Forwards.

We all know how much it is preached to live in the ‘now’, that today is a gift, that’s why its a present, and so on. Yeah that may be an incredible notion, but if the way you choose to live in the now is going to dramatically effect your future you kind of need…

Craving Darkness

Have you ever been so drawn to something without knowing why? You feel a pull in that direction, with no explanation but the desire drives you there no matter what? That is how I explain my actions, and the way that I am always drawn to darkness; no matter how much light I let in….